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Like the rest of the country, I was shocked to read about Wayne’s ten-hour drunken binge, his sleazy flirtation with single-mother-on-the-prowl Laura Simpson and then his arrest for driving her car three times over the limit (heading off for a game of Scrabble, no doubt) – and thought: ‘What on earth did he think he was doing? Didn’t it cross his befuddled apology for a brain that he just might be recognised, and that his long-suffering wife would find out? Pictured: Wayne and Coleen If there’s one thing worse than a philandering bloke with an eye for a boob job – it’s a thoroughly stupid one.

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How could Wayne do this to you when you’re pregnant? We can be sure he’s asked himself that many times since you flew home from Majorca to berate him – because the worst hangover in the world must be nothing compared with knowing he has made the people who love him utterly sick.

You rang Laura Simpson to get her version of events – a private conversation she has already spilled to a newspaper.

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